


Cheap Wine at the Ritz

by toopliss_chewtoy



Series: HiJack Drabbles [21]
Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Fluff, Hugs, Kisses, M/M, Romance, and just some silly stuff because I could, feeling very very much out of place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 13:52:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13683012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toopliss_chewtoy/pseuds/toopliss_chewtoy
Summary: Jack thought getting a weekend at the Ritz-Carlton luxury hotel would be cool. They didn't expect how uncomfortable this level of marble and gold would actually be...





	Cheap Wine at the Ritz

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Syndeh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syndeh/gifts).



> After an idea by Snowflakeofberk! Thanks!  
> Art by Syndeh (at tumblr)
> 
> A (late) birthday gift for Syndeh. I hope you like it!

“So… that’s one of the most expensive hotels in New York?” Hiccup asked.

“Well, not for us, but yes.”

“Doesn’t look the part, does it?”

From the outside, it wasn’t that different than the other buildings on the block on this side of Central Park. The only thing that set it apart were the huge American flag and a Ritz-Carlton flag on the building front. And the carefully kept potted plants on either side of the door. And the golden luggage carts. And the valet. And the two doormen with tophats.

“Not easily impressed, are you?”

“And yet I’m dating you.”

Jack laughed. “I’m not sure if I should be offended or grateful… let’s go. Our park-view suite is waiting!”

They crossed the street on the corner amidst heavy traffic. The doormen at first didn’t open the door for them, until they were right up to the door, and Jack was giving him an expectant Look. Then he quickly sprang into action. Jack couldn’t blame him; they didn’t really look like the usual Ritz-going folks, did they?

The moment they entered, Hiccup’s opinion visibly changed. His face went from a slight grumpiness due to the long travel to amazement to disbelief. Finally, his expression settled somewhere between excited and nervous, with a slight blush to top it off.

Jack tore his eyes away from his boyfriend and looked around too, resisting the urge to do an impressed whistle. The floors were all marble, the reception desks dark, oiled woods, and the ceiling had that kind of woodwork at the edges that Jack didn’t even know the name of. To their right was a lounge that reminded him mostly of a library owned by a  villain living in an old English castle. Not to mention there were paintings and old-looking cabinets with even older-looking vases _everywhere_.

Suddenly Jack understood where Hiccup’s borderline anxious look was coming from. If he knocked over one of those vases he’d never be able to pay off the debt it’d result in!

“Good afternoon, sir,” the man behind the nearest counter said. “Can I be of service?”

“Ah, ehm… yes!” Jack cleared his throat. “I have a reservation. On the name Overland.”

The man typed on his computer. “May I have your reservation number?”

Jack produced it from his phone, yet the man behind the counter was not satisfied. With the ever present smile he asked for ID too, and only then were they shown up to their room. He wondered if they asked that much of everyone, or only from him because he didn’t seem rich enough to afford a room here. To be fair he really couldn’t afford a room here under normal circumstances. A regular two-night stay was 6000 dollars. Little did the bellboy showing them up to their room know that Jack had paid only a fraction of that, for the power of the internet was without limits. One might think cat-videos are the pinnacle of the world wide web — and Jack could watch those felines fail jumps literally all day — but he’d found something even better. Two weeks ago, he’d come upon a new category of online services. The ones where you can get hotel rooms in major cities at luxury hotels… for only a fraction of the price. He had no idea how the websites pulled it off, but they did, and Jack had jumped on the opportunity.

Their trip to New York City had been planned and booked months ago, but Jack gave it a shot anyway. He bid on a few websites on rooms in NYC. Lady Fortuna must have been on his side, because at the last moment he landed a room right here, at the Ritz.

“Enjoy your stay,” the bellboy chimed happily. Jack thanked him and gave him a tip, closing the door behind him. When he turned around, Hiccup was standing in the center of the living room, looking around with his mouth open.

“Careful, sweetie, you might catch a fly.”

“I don’t think they have flies here,” Hiccup replied in a quiet mumble.

Jack wrapped his arms around Hiccup’s waist from behind and pressed up close. At least there was no marble here, just carpet with a floral pattern. There were the same decorations on the ceiling though, and the curtains were bound together with heavy ropes that probably had a proper, posh-sounding name.  Here was a couch, two chairs, a salon table, another side table, a cabinet, a _friggin desk_ with chair… the suite was really just as big as the living room in their apartment, which made Jack feel sad about their tiny house. And the view was amazing, overlooking Central Park, even from their position in the middle of the suite. Again, much better than the “view” of a dead wall back home.

“So? Still think it doesn’t look like much?”

“I see how they… earned their reputation,” Hiccup offered weakly.

“I don’t know about you, but my feet are killing me. Sit with me.” Jack grabbed Hiccup’s hand and tried to drag him to the couch, but the other resisted.

“Sit where?”

“Eh… on the couch?”

“That thing?” Hiccup pointed at the Ritz version of a couch. The pillows were impossibly plump with little frills on the edges, and the couch itself was clad in dark brown leather.

“Yes?”

“I’m not sure I can.”

Jack scoffed. “Hiccup, what are you talking about?”

“Frankly, Jack, that thing looks too expensive to even point at.”

The white haired man blinked at his boyfriend, but the other appeared to be absolutely dead-serious. He burst out in nervous giggles.

“It does, doesn’t it? A chair, perhaps?”

“You know those are just as bad,” Hiccup said, eying them nervously.

“Eh… the desk?”

“Please tell me you’re joking. That’s _mahogany._ ”

Jack had heard enough and just sat down on the floor, pulling Hiccup down with him. “There,” he said, giggling. “We’ll just sit here for a while, or is even the floor too good for our sorry asses?”

That made Hiccup laugh too. “I guess the floor will do. Unless… what if it gets stained by my sweaty butt?” The brunet faked a horrified look.

“Bring in the dry-cleaners!” Jack yelled with an exaggerated and poorly executed British accent.

“James, they’ve stained the carpet!” Hiccup added.

“And the mahogany!”

“Simply barbaric!”

They laughed and just sat there for a bit, getting used to the ‘you’ll never be able to afford this’ atmosphere. It was very impressive, but at the same time also seemed a bit overdone. Like a bollywood movie you couldn’t quite take seriously.

Jack still held Hiccup’s hand, rubbing his thumb over the back.

“Damn, Jack, this is so great,” Hiccup whispered.

“But?”

“No but.”

“I thought I heard a but,” he insisted. When Hiccup hesitated, Jack squeezed his hand slightly. “Come on, out with it.”

“Fine. I am so grateful you took me here, I really am, and it’s so amazing to see all this luxury and I love you to bits… but I have this uncomfortable feeling that I- I don’t know. That I don’t belong here.”

Jack nodded. “Well… me too. I don’t know about you but I felt terribly under dressed when I walked in here. Might as well have been wearing fucking swim shorts with flip flops — it would have been equally embarrassing.”

The other chuckled. “Nah, no shirt is _always_ an improvement in my opinion.”

“Okay… how about we take a shower so we’re all clean and don’t defile this room with our commoner filth? Then I’ll make us a drink cause I know for a fact that there is a mini-bar in here.”

“I’m not sure we sh-”

“Hush. Live a little. Besides, I checked. What’s in there is complimentary. Now off you go, to the shower with you!”

“You’re not going to join me?”

“I will in a moment, just gonna unpack a few things. Now shoo!”

With Hiccup herded into the bathroom and the door closed behind him, Jack quickly put their bags in the equally luxurious bedroom. He ran his hand over the bedding, feeling how soft it was. He sat down and hopped up and down a little. This was going to be one hell of a comfortable night, that was for sure. But that was for later. He had to hurry his preparations and join Hiccup in the shower before his boyfriend could get suspicious. So Jack laid out the things as he’d planned, glad he managed to pack all of that without Hiccup ever noticing. Five minutes later he knocked on the bathroom door.

“It’s open.”

Hiccup was standing at the center of the room with nothing but his leg on.

“Is… is something wrong?”

“Look at all that marble,” Hiccup whispered. “How am I supposed to shower in this?” He hugged his chest, looking at Jack as if he was terribly constipated.

The other sighed. “You just turn on the tap, just like a normal person-”

“The tap looks golden.”

“- and then you let the money wash over you. Duh.” Hiccup laughed. “Come on, take that leg off. We’re taking a bath together.” Jack turned on the water and collected all the little packages of shower gel and the like. “Oh, sweet! A bath-bomb!”

“You think we can-”

Before Hiccup could finish that sentence, Jack squirted some of each and every package into the tub. “Yes. Yes we can.” While maintaining dramatic eye-contact with Hiccup, he dropped in the bath-bomb last. It started to fizzle, and a mixture of scents wafted up from the bath tub. Jack threw off his clothes and unceremoniously dumped them all over the floor, just to make a point. This was their suite now, and if scattering their clothes all throughout the room was what it took for Hiccup to feel at home, so be it.

“I’m pretty sure you also squirted in shaving cream,” Hiccup commented.

Jack blushed but brushed it off with a laugh. “All according to plan. Shaving gel is good for the skin. After you, my love.” He stood by in case Hiccup needed help getting into the tub, and then joined in himself. It was full-length and pretty broad, so they fit in next to each other. Jack’s whole leg was pressed up against Hiccup, but it was not uncomfortably tight. Just snug enough.

“Smells like an accident at the perfume factory,” Hiccup said.

“I’m going to spend the entire night sniffing your hair,” Jack replied.

“You always know just what to say to set a romantic mood, don’t you?”

“It’s a talent.”

 

* * *

 

A back-rub, some bathtub cuddles, and a _second_ tub of hot water later, the boys figured they’d soaked long enough. The towels were befitting of their room: ludicrously soft and so heavy Jack was sure he could club someone to death with one. He tried on a bathrobe, but Hiccup couldn’t since he had his leg off, so Jack brought him green boxer briefs and a red shirt.

“Service, even in the bathroom,” the brunet joked.

Jack grinned and said: “wait till you see what I prepared in the bedroom!”

“Please don’t tell me you made a pillow fort.”

“Hilarious idea, but no, my sweet buttercup. I went for something a bit more befitting of this establishment.”

The other’s brow furrowed and he followed Jack into the bedroom, crawling on hands and knees. When he propped himself up on the bed, his mouth fell open as if they were coming into the downstairs lobby for the first time again. “Oh damn…” he mumbled.

Red rose petals were scattered over the white covers, and on the nightstand was a tray with two glasses and a chilled bottle of white wine. Hiccup’s favourite — which meant Jack had to bring it with him in his suitcase cause they sure as hell didn’t have that bottle in stock here. They sat in the middle of the bed, Hiccup in between Jack’s legs. Jack wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and pulled him close, pressing their foreheads together. This close together, Jack could smell all the soapy scents coming off his boyfriend.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Hiccup replied and he kissed Jack’s nose. “We could sit in the windowsill while we open that bottle. Enjoy the view.”

“But I already have the best view in all of New York.” Jack was staring right at the other man, looking into his eyes. It made Hiccup blush a little, and with a small smile, Jack closed the distance between them. Their lips pressed together softly, sweetly, only for a moment. And again. Tender touches, barely a real kiss. When Jack broke away, he lingered close. He could feel Hiccup’s hand against his chest, and the fabric of the red t-shirt under his fingertips. They shared a breath… and another before Jack kissed him one final time.

“Happy anniversary, my love.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> As an alternative title I considered "All that Glitters is Gold" from Stairway to Heaven but since the fic doesn't really fit with the song I decided against it :x
> 
> Also doing the research for this was surreal, I tell you.... the room they have is a Park View Suite, and the quoted 6000 USD for two nights is not a joke. WTF, people. Someone better rock me to sleep in golden leafs for that price.


End file.
